Final Sleep

Slept in my apartment for the final time last night.  It was a deep peaceful sleep on my futon, the last of my big furniture.    It was also a much needed sleep.  Didn’t hit the pillow until 3:30am the previous night, and was up four hours later.  The day was non-stop after that.

I still have to pack up all my little things.  Not too worried about it.  I bought three large plastic bins to go with the three I already had.  Between all of them, my stuff should stow away nicely.  Shyanne’s coming over at 1 to help me clean.  Shawn’s coming over at 4:30ish to help me move those bins.

I started my day at O’Neill, teaching photography to Ms. Swalla’s Photography 20 class.  She’s seen what I’ve been doing in Dean’s class and she’s been bugging me to come and talk to her class.  A promise is a promise and besides, I really enjoy talking to students.

I was too tired to write yesterday but I did take the time to review the submission requirements for my play.  Turns out it doesn’t need to be finished, so long as enough of it is there to warrant some workshopping.  We’re allowed to include notes on problems we intent to fix, and directions we wish to go.

I read through it with Jamie last night and it feels good.  It still needs some additional scenes, but the ones that are there have been shored up.  Instead of writing new scenes today, I’ll take an hour to prepare some notes and mail the submission.  After that, it’s full steam ahead packing.

Here’s to a good day.

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Like A Leaf

Bright sunny Sunday morning in Regina.  Too bright to sit in the window of Atlantis.  That’s alright though.  The theme these days is to go with the flow.  I’m sitting in the shade right now.

I just sold my credenza.  Collected the money and everything.  It’s a huge weight off my mind.  Don’t even care that I practically gave it away.

Here’s a tip for you bargain hunters out there; buy your shit ‘used’, towards the end of the month, when people are more interested in unloading stuff, than having to deal with it during a move.

I finished the video for YBC last night.  That leaves me all day today and tomorrow to finish my play.  I suspect I’ll get some packing done during that time as well.  I’m going to write a scene today and another one tomorrow.  Should leave it in good enough shape to submit.

I really do feel like a leaf floating down the stream.  There’s not much I have control over right now.  I make plans and they don’t quite unfold the way I expect.  I leave things to the universe, and they fall into place.  Trusting in the latter is something I need to work on – especially with all these blind leaps I’ve been taking lately.

Interesting Times

It’s a constant barrage of comings and goings these days.  So much going on.  So many people to see.  So many things to finish.  So many others to start.  I’m having a hard time keeping it all straight.

I’ve spent significant time with significant people in my life every day and every night this week.  Still more to pack in.  I walk through the streets of downtown Regina and I feel so disconnected from it now.  My apartment has been simply a place to sleep since the moment I made the decision to leave.

That’s not to sound glum about it.  I think it’s a good thing.  Easier to flow when I’m not grasping for low hanging branches.  The next seven days hold much mystery, yet are bound to be huge.  I am four steps away from a gynormous big leap.

These are interesting times.

Toronto Dicks

So I started nosing in my ‘Dick’ play and it’s gonna take more than a day to get it into shape.  I thought it was so good when I wrote it (in 24 hours), but it doesn’t hold up to a close dramaturgical scrutization.  I still think it has great potential, but like the Saskatchewan Roughriders this year, that potential ain’t realized just yet.

As mentioned once or twice previously, I’m leaving town.  So writing a play whilst packing up my shit is a bit of a challenge.  Having said all that, it’s not like I’m doing much of anything else anyway.  I’m quite certain that I could have all my shit together in a half day, and stored in a half day after that.  I have a shoot coming up on Thursday night and I’ll be tied up working on that ‘til Saturday.

I guess this means I have two full days to write a play that’s already half written.  Can you think of anything more productive to set my mind on?

In other news, it seems I have an apartment lined up in Toronto.  Furnished, 5 clicks from downtown and in my price range.  Two of my theatre friends out there helped me find it.  Feels like things are just falling into place.

Feels really like things are falling into place.  I have a place of my own in TO.  Makes it feel like… NOT theoretical.  Like I’m flowing and everything’s gonna be alright.

Alright, alright.

Six Words

Deconstruct. Shelf-life. Wood. Flood. Screen. Thirst.

I look inwards, deconstructing myself.  I look for motivations and imaginations of myself the way I should be.  Trying to see things clearly but these visions have a limited shelf-life.  Conflicting thinky thoughts take over.  I find myself beside myself.  Two beings.  Two stirrings.  Two desires for completely the opposite of things.

And then you kiss me and I feel wood.  It’s a plank across the forehead.  Dizzy spells.  Shaky knees.  Wood.  I breathe you in deeply and suffocate the me I was before.  Virtuous me drowns like a phantom memory.  Like something that didn’t really exist anyway.

And then I get to wondering, with all that flood of fantasy, excitement and dreams – was it really you?  Was that really me?

I look in the mirror for the truth into things.  Screen.  Opaque screen.  Nothing reflects back and I remember truth is merely a belief about certain kinds of facts.  Live half my life behind that screen.  I watch you undress behind that self same screen.

I close my eyes and I see you in dreams – but not those kind of dreams.  You’re wearing a Viking hat and riding a bicycle passed my street.  No acknowledgment from you that I’m even there.  It’s all pretty surreal and I get the thought in my mind that it’s all pretty surreal even at the most conscious of times.

With that, I figure so much of my conflict comes from imaginations of my own construction – and I simply thirst for more.

A Laundry List of Torontonian ToDoings

Toronto bound in one week, and there’s still a lot to do.  I was going to sketch out a to do list, but I figured here is as good a place as any.

  1. 1.I need to sell my credenza, hutch and futon.  Problem is, no one knows what a credenza is.  Gonna put ‘em up on Used Regina for a ridiculous rate.  Hopefully that does the trick.
  2. 2.I need to pack my shit.  Divide it into what goes with me, and what stays.  Since I decided to keep my car, I can take more stuff, but I don’t want to stray too far from my backpack and a suitcase ideal.  I probably should get some stackable Rubbermaid bins to help with the storage of things.
  3. 3.Need to buy Blue Cross insurance.  I’ll be driving through the States next week.  Should something unfortunate happen to me medically, I don’t want something even more unfortunate to happen to me financially.
  4. 4.Need to arrange for people to pick up the stuff they bought from me.
  5. 5.Need to line up a Toronto couch to sleep on for a week or so.
  6. 6.Need to get my mail forwarded to Mom’s address.  Also need to get Mom up to speed on Dacian stuff.  Also need to get some invoicing done before I leave.  It would be even better if I could collect a cheque prior to departure.
  7. 7.I need to line up a place to stay for my final days in Regina.  Mom’s is a natural choice, but I’d prefer to be closer to downtown.
  8. 8.I betcha if I gave it a good day, I could get my ‘Dick’ play in good enough shape to submit it to the 2012 Spring Festival of New Plays.

Seems like a lot.  Might as well get started on that play.

Whirlwind Sociability

In a few more minutes the sun will be ducking behind the Hotel Saskatchewan, and I’ll be able to see the world from my perch in the window of Atlantis without squinting.  I’ll pass the time by musing about the last few days.

Jazzy, PJ and Denny pulled up to mom’s the same time I did.  Jazzy ran up with a big hug.  PJ’s was more of a polite hug, the kind I get when there’s a boyfriend nearby.  It was good to see both of them.

After a few minutes we headed downtown and I showed them city square.  It wasn’t quite the breathtaking moment of awe I hoped it would be.  Denny was on the limp and PJ was cold.  Jazzy and I had to cut the tour short.

Back at my apartment, PJ helped herself to some of my stuff.  She finally had a chance to see my place, but with half my furniture gone, it also wasn’t quite the moment frozen in time that I hoped it would be.

Later at mom’s, we helped ourselves to turkey dinner and caught up some more.  At 8:30 the Rider game started and I secluded myself in the living room.  Three hours later it was clear that game wasn’t going to be one for the ages.

I took Jazz home with me and we watched ‘Ringer’, a new series she’s into staring Sarah Michelle Gellar.  We just lazed on the couch, stopping occasionally to talk about something in the show, or to muse about something in our lives.  It was a perfect way to end the evening.

Upon waking, Jazzy fired up the next episode and we continued on while I rubbed her feet.  After an hour, the phone was ringing.  Breakfast at mom’s was ready.  A couple hours after that, they were off.

Felt like no time passed between visits.  Felt like a million years since I saw her.  Funny how that works.

I spent the next few hours on the couch, not feeling like doing anything.  Shawn’s birthday was set for later in the evening.  Brad, Beth, Ron, and others were going to be there.  I really wasn’t in the mood for partying, but I also wasn’t in the mood for missing out on seeing those faces either.

There were a lot of laughs and good times.  What more can I say?  Put several good people in a room, add food, music and booze, and you have something great.

I’m feeling the clock ticking.  Every day this week I’ve spent time talking to someone I won’t be seeing for awhile.  It’s tiring as much as it is heartwarming.  They’ll be time to catch up on my ‘me’ time next week.

Ten Days Hence

And we’re away.  Rhonda is doing a budget breakdown based on the script I wrote for Easy Over.  Rob hired a locations scout.  The wheels are in motion and I’m excited.

I was also just hired to create a couple of videos for the Youth Ballet Company.  I’m going to finish the first one tomorrow and shoot the second one next week.  I’ll take the footage to Toronto with me.  It’s a timely gig and I’ll appreciate the contribution to my moving fund.

I also spent three hours standing naked in a room while other people drew me.  Apparently I’m good at it because Leesa, their professor, wrote a letter of recommendation for me and offered to set me up with some gigs in TO.  Jarrett Rusnak, Nude Model.

Supper with Shy followed that.  I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like, but it’s just kind of worked out that way.  It’s a far cry from twice a week when we were taking that philosophy class together.

PJ, Jazz & Denny get into town tonight.  They’re staying at mom’s and I’ll be heading over for supper.  I want to show Jazz City Square before she leaves.  We walked through it nearly everyday when she was here this summer, watching it come together.  It’s a small thing, but something I’ve been thinking about doing with her for a while now.

Ten days.  Lots to pack and get done before I leave.  Almost seems like a lifetime away.  I wonder what my entries will look like a month from now.

A Personal Note for Each of Them

Got together with the Romanian Syndicate last night at the Four Seasons.  We do this a couple times a year, usually to spend someone’s winnings from a football or hockey pool.  This time it was a little more loaded.

Rodney lost his twin brother Russ to a heart attack on Monday.  We thought about cancelling the event, but realized more than ever, it was even more important to be together.  Rich and Deb are Saskatoon bound.  I’m off to Toronto.  Life has brought change to our group.  It was a time to remember what we all mean to each other.

Rodney was the last to show and he got a big hug from each of us.  When pizza arrived we had a prayer for Russ.  From then on it was about living, laughing, and being irreverent.  We drank a lot of beer and helped ourselves to the Karaoke bar.  Everyone was up there at one time or another.

I don’t remember having a better time with those guys.  I was really moved.  More hugs at the end of the night and when I got home, I took an hour to write a personal note to each of them on our football blog.  My head hit the pillow at 2am.

Some Kind of Record

That was unexpected.

Tara came over in the afternoon and we finished the Arts Board proposal for the Vertigo Reading Series.  We had to knock on the door to get them to receive our package because we were about 7 minutes passed the deadline.  They took it and we celebrated with a couple of pints at Bushwakers.  Haven’t been there since I moved my office.

From there we met Jim at La Bodega.  Jim is a principal at Brown, Sponsor of Vertigo, and a good friend.  We go back a few years and we’ve taken to doing drinks once a month.  On the way out I bumped into Rob and Tammy.

In I went right after them.  We talked more about Easy Over, Toronto, old times and Firefly.  It seems they’re talking about making the leap to Toronto as well.  I invited them to share a piece of a couch with me.  They paid for my drink.

Two weeks and I’m outta here.  That thought crossed my mind as I had to pee, so I piloted my car to Tanya’s.  For some reason, she’s the one friend I feel comfortable dropping in on, at any time of day or night.  She also happens to be my banker (although we were friends before that happened).  Among other things, we talked about my car, money outstanding on the loan, and complications with selling it.  I might just be better off hanging onto it.

So I’m driving home and I get a text from Tamara, who was in the mood for a friend with a great set of ears.  We talked until late.

Five different people in one evening.  Must be some kind of record.  It feels good to have so many different kinds of people in my life.  It feels like I’m doing something right.