Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Actually, I didn’t mean that… I’m taking back the exclamation mark. I would now like to open this email with the following;

Happy New Year.

Hmmm….. I’m not sure, but I don’t think I really meant that either. This time of year everyone opens every conversation with the words ‘Happy New Year.’ I’m not like other people. Perhaps I’ll try this;

Happy Monday?

Ooops. I accidentally inflected my typing at the end so that it came out like a question. Let me try again…

Happy Monday.

Right… ummm, once more with feeling maybe.

Happy Monday!

Better… but it still lacked sincerity. Lemme try this;


Oh Puke. Just a sec… I’m going to try it another way.

Happy Thoughts!!!!

Happy Thoughts? What the fuck! I ain’t no hippy. How ’bout….


Mmmm…. no. That was kind of gay actually.

Happy Year!

Better… but still not quite precise enough.

Happy New Year!

Yeah! That’s it! Happy New Year!