Happy New Year!
Actually, I didn’t mean that… I’m taking back the exclamation mark. I would now like to open this email with the following;
Happy New Year.
Hmmm….. I’m not sure, but I don’t think I really meant that either. This time of year everyone opens every conversation with the words ‘Happy New Year.’ I’m not like other people. Perhaps I’ll try this;
Happy Monday?
Ooops. I accidentally inflected my typing at the end so that it came out like a question. Let me try again…
Happy Monday.
Right… ummm, once more with feeling maybe.
Happy Monday!
Better… but it still lacked sincerity. Lemme try this;
Monday!!!!!
Oh Puke. Just a sec… I’m going to try it another way.
Happy Thoughts!!!!
Happy Thoughts? What the fuck! I ain’t no hippy. How ’bout….
Happy!
Mmmm…. no. That was kind of gay actually.
Happy Year!
Better… but still not quite precise enough.
Happy New Year!
Yeah! That’s it! Happy New Year!
The Mind of Jarrett 