Yesterday I went downstairs and asked to borrow a tie from the girls in Wardrobe. Tied the tie myself and got the knot right on the first try. And then the girls told me to tuck in my shirt. One quick spin later and they were complimenting me on how ‘cutting’ I look, and I must admit, I felt pretty super duper alright as well.
There was a bounce in my step. A starch to my arch. A pride in my belly. I felt classy. Hadn’t worn a tie in a couple decades.
And then someone, trying their most earnest to be complimentary, said I looked like an ‘accountant’.
And I felt a screech as my self identity ground to a halt. I did ‘look’ like an accountant. It was quite troubling. I don’t want to look like an accountant, I just wanna do production accountant stuff. I was deeply troubled. I wanna look like a writer. Or a director. Or somebody who doesn’t look like an accountant.
And then someone handed me a beer as I sat at my desk, and somehow I felt like everything is gonna be okay.
I’m gonna spend the weekend watching football, and reading scripts. Tahirah is coming over later to watch the Rider game, and I think I’m gonna wear that tie again. Under my Rider jersey.