The Fine Line to Self Awareness

I was walking passed a store the other day and saw a dog tied up outside the door. The owner was inside and the dog was content, waiting patiently for the day to unfold. As I approached, the dog kind of stuck his neck out. He wanted some affection, so I stopped to pet him.

As I sat there scratching him behind the ears, I was struck with a thought – why don’t people stick their necks out for affection from perfect strangers? Dogs are perfectly happy to receive affection from anyone. People, not so much.

Perhaps it’s because we’ve all been disappointed by people at one time or another. We can be hurt. The reward of affection just does’t outweigh the risks.

Is this a ‘normal’ state of being, or have we socialized ourselves into this walled off place?

Personally, I don’t really have a lot of affection for perfect strangers, unless they’re hot and I might be able to have sex with them at some future time (assuming they’re sporting a vagina). I don’t think I’m that different from most men in this regard.

I attended a ‘Peace Ceremony’ last night. The women in the room were all acquaintances Renee. We lit a smudge stick and meditated on a candle flame. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about being there. It was all a bit too earthy for my tastes. I prefer a little more yoga with my earthiness.

This room full of women were all familiar with each other, and they were all down with the ceremony. Me, I felt a little like the pee in a public swimming pool – invisible but present. Whenever the group leader would say something like, “let the energy ‘penetrate’ your heart…” my mind would go to a naughty place.

Out of respect for the vibe in the room, I don’t think I’ll be going back. They made me feel welcome, and I would feel comfortable sticking my neck out for affection from any one of them, but my headspace is in a different place at present.

I’m not sure if that’s something I need to change about myself, or merely accept and call self awareness.

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2 thoughts on “The Fine Line to Self Awareness

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