Remember in my last article when I was musing about what big changes my life might see sometime in the distant future? I was content to not think about change too much. Let the universe turn and I’ll just go on trying to find my place inside it. That’s how I roll.
Well… the rumblings began about an hour after publishing that article on Sunday. They grew over the last few days until a realization emerged from the aether. I’ve had difficulty thinking about anything else. The phone call came last night.
Jazzy is moving to Toronto to live with me.
My whole entire world has changed in an instant. I’ve been on my own for seven years, trying to find a better way for myself. Of course Jazzy has always meant the world to me, but she didn’t need me to survive. PJ was always there to provide Jazzy’s daily needs. I saw my role as something with more big picture concerns – exposing her to new ideas, challenging her and teaching her skills she didn’t have – not that PJ didn’t do those things as well, it’s just that there was only so much I could do as a father from 2,000 miles away.
Suddenly there is someone else in my daily life who’s needs must come before mine. No more sacrificing the short term in the hopes of scoring in the long run, career wise. Jazzy needs stability. She needs her own room. She needs me to be responsible for the bread on our table. She needs me to act like a grown-up so she can be a kid.
Nothing in my life is more important to me right now.
PJ is moving back to Vancouver to finish her PhD. Should take about four months. After that she has no idea what lays in her future or where she will wind up. I continue to hold out hope that she’ll find her way out to Toronto, but there’s no guarantee about that. I do know that she’ll emerge as one of the foremost experts in her field. I am incredibly proud of her.
In the meantime Jazzy’s about to start Grade 9. With so much moving around in the last number of years, she’s feeling a strong, strong desire to be in one place for four years to develop long-term friendships and feel like she has a home. Our walk through The Beaches a couple weeks’ back resonated with her. There’s a great school in the area.
My beautiful little girl needed me to be more than what I have been in the past. It’s a decision that required no thought. Water is wet. The sky is blue. Jazzy needs me to make her a home. I couldn’t have asked for a better Father’s Day present.