It was a lot easier living in Toronto when Jazzy was living in Vancouver. When I left Regina a little over a year ago, Jazzy remained a plane ticket away. Now she’s home, back in the city I left behind, and if I wouldn’t have left, I’d be able to see her everyday.
I put these sorts of thoughts behind me so I can focus on my Toronto mission – which has been evolving these last few months. I love living in this city. I’m making good connections. Met with a producer yesterday, who knows people, who know people. I’m going to a TV pilot script reading Wednesday night. Just learned that this is something that goes on twice a month in this town. As previously mentioned, I connected with some documentary filmmakers last week. One of the biggest agencies in town have one of my scripts on their ‘read’ list. I have a potential documentary in the works.
There are a ton of things going on in Toronto that I don’t even know about – that I haven’t given myself an opportunity to tap into. It all adds up to unlimited potential. If I put myself out there, something good will eventually happen.
And then a glimmer of light. A tantalizing beam of opportunity. A chance to come home and be with Jazzy while working on something quite big, doing something that I’m very good at and passionate about. Senior Manager of Video Production for an high profile company, in a high profile industry. And I have very hard mixed feelings about that.
A friend told me that he had an opportunity to do play-by-play for the Phoenix Coyotes in 2003. $300,000 per year. He’d be in the big league, travelling across North America with an NHL team. His dream job.
He turned it down. He’d have to be separated from his family – from his children. He said you never lose if you chose your family. The comment hit me like a cold prairie storm across the face. This was a few weeks ago when I was at home for Christmas and basking in the warmth that came with seeing Jazzy everyday.
I feel like if I go home, I’ll be giving up on everything I’ve tried to accomplish in Toronto. I feel like I’m very close to breaking through on something. But then again, I’ve been carrying that feeling around my whole career.
The position isn’t a given. I’d have to go through an interview process. In the meantime there remain tentacles of opportunities here in Toronto to explore. I suppose my dilemma comes from having to move forward without knowing where I’m going for the immediate future.
I suppose my answers will come in time. Life is a river. I am a leaf riding its current, but have little control over where it flows. The best I can do is navigate my way around the rocks, and stay out of the eddies.
I’ll pursue the opportunity. I’ll pursue every opportunity, both here and there. I’ll make a decision when the time comes to make a decision.