The Number 40

Just about the time I get done thinking about the year ahead, I get started on reflecting back on my life as a whole.  January 12 is my birthday.  Today represents my 40th spin around the sun.  What a ride!

Forty seems old to me, but I don’t feel old.  I look in the mirror and I don’t see old.  I don’t think I live an ‘old’ lifestyle.  I suppose it’s what that number represents that bothers me.  Forty.  Four Oh.  Some kind of milestone.

I’m not where I wish to be in my career and as I said many times before, I am my career.  Maybe that’s a good thing.  If I ever do catch up to where my ambitions have already been,  I might just curl up and die.  Without that carrot before my nose, there’s nothing to keep me moving forward.

[several thinky thoughts pass through Jarrett’s mind]

Hmmm.  It seems happiness comes, not from achieving goals, but by making progress towards them.  More specifically, by making the journey towards those goals, a well travelled one, I’m living my life at its best.

When I consider my own personal idiosyncrasies, I’d have to say the single greatest cause of angst in my life, is my talent for NOT beginning the things I need to get to.  I wouldn’t even call it procrastination.  It’s something much deeper.  It’s like there’s some kind of psychological barrier that blocks my way.  Gonna have to remedy that somehow.  Any ideas?

In other news, I taught story design to Jazzy’s grade 8 class yesterday.  It was a highlight of my whole trip home.  I had ’em laughing and I think they learned something too.  The teacher wants to continue to use me as a resource and most significantly, Jazzy is proud to show me off to her new friends.

She’s coming with me to my party tonight.  I’ve invited a number of old friends and it will be great to have ’em all in a room together.  Good music.  Great food.  Plentiful booze.  Amazing people.  Should be a good time.

I’ll not waste any time getting ready for it.

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