The last 24 hours have been completely… well. I don’t know what word to write here.
I woke up next to the girl of my dreams yesterday. It was the single greatest moment of my year. Just looking at her, still sleeping. Still dreaming. I watched her for a spell, then kissed her awake.
We stayed up all night working on an essay. We were laying on the couch, still in our clothes. There was no making out. No sex. Just cuddling, warm hugs, love, hopes and dreams. We got a lot of work done too. Had more left to do. That’s how I spent the morning.
Later in the evening, I showed up at her condo unexpected (due to a schedule mix-up), and she was desperate to get rid of me. Wouldn’t accept the coffee I bought her, wouldn’t let me inside. Wasn’t interested in talking to me. Was downright hostile. Someone was with her.
In between, I spent the day with Tempest Jade. We did a photo shoot. She was twisted up, legs thrown up over her shoulders at times, standing on her hands at others. There were a series of mirrors double reflecting back onto each other. Four Tempests all twisted up in unison, all reflecting her current state of mind.
Later in the edit suite, we put it over the music she danced to. Our jaws hit the floor. So beautiful. So haunting. So unexpected. Pure art fuelled by tear drops. There was no plan to any of it. She did her thing. I did mine. We found something beautiful together.
My head hit the pillow with broken thoughts. Thoughts all twisted up and mangled. Mangled like the girl’s troubles. Mangled like Tempest’s mind. Mangled like the beauty and the numbness of my day.
My mind’s been full and my heart’s been quiet all morning. An hour ago I read an email from the girl. Makes perfect sense now. Once again, my heart goes out to her. She’s got even bigger troubles. And 90 minutes ago Tempest sent me a text saying how awesome she thinks I am.
I feel like a leaf floating on a river, going over a waterfall. I’m not even worried about me, or the girl, or Tempest, or even the immediate future right now. None of it really matters. Nothing I can do about any of it. Thinking just gets in the way of being. And being is about all I can do right now.