Synergy of Muffinhood

Almond chocolate chunk are my new favourite muffins at Atlantis.  Had my first one yesterday and my second one was today.  The best thing about these muffins is that they make me want to drink coffee upon finishing one.  I know that sounds weird, but there’s something about the taste of those muffins that makes you want to wash the last chocolatey bit of them off your pallet with a splash of coffee.

No other muffin does that.  It’s like before these muffins, all the other muffins merely co-existed with the coffee in the coffee shop.  Never before was there such a fusion of synergy and absolute need to be together.

Well done Atlantis.

Boobs

A girl I know is having her boobs cast for use as prothesis for breast cancer victims.  Immortal boobs.  Immortal modern boobs.

I guess all the boobs they had on file were outdated.  Women were looking at each other in their photos and observing that their boobs looked sooooo 1987.

Not so anymore.  Soon, my friend will venture out into cancer clinics everywhere and see her boobs bringing a sense of feminine empowerment to those less fortunate.

I don’t mean to sound callous.  I’m not.  Two of my aunts lost their boobs to cancer a few years ago.  Cancer eventually took them as well (within 4 months of each other actually).  We can all sit around feeling sad, but I choose to celebrate life.  They certainly did.

I told the story in my blog last year where one got mad at the other at the supper table.  One reached into her bra, pulled out her fake tit and threw it at the other.  You could hear a pin drop… until the victim responded.  She pulled out her own fake tit and flung it back!  A fake tit fight.  An old lady fake tit fight.

I’d love to see my friend’s boobs being flung around in that fashion.  Maybe they could make some sort of Olympic sport out of it.  Boob Fling Lacrosse.  Maybe they could modify tasers using my friend’s boobs.  Imagine some perv creeping on the ladies in a club and doesn’t pay attention to the words, “no.”  BAM!  Or better yet, my friend’s taser boobs could be employed by undercover agents working for CSIS, thwarting organized crime and keeping our nation secure in the process.

After several years of service my friend’s boobs could be retired and put on display in some sort of honoured place.  Testimonies from thousands of Canadians who were ‘touched’ by her boobs in a positive way would accompany the exhibit.  That would be a cool thing.

I’d love to see my friend’s boobs on display.