The Opposite of Flowing

I’m sitting in Atlantis looking out the window.  It’s a beautiful sunny day.  I’m thinking about eating lunch at mom’s campsite, about 20 minutes from the city.  Jazzy’s there right now and she’s been out of cell phone range.  I want to talk to her and find out how her dental appointment went.

She needs a lot of work done on her teeth and the prospect of all those needles, drills, and other items of dental torture had her on the verge of tears.  She asked me if it was going to hurt.  “Yup,” is all I could say, “But not as much as you imagine it will.  And by 4pm on Friday, you’ll be past it.”

Those words didn’t seem to help, but before she had too much time to think about it, we went and picked up two of her friends so they could hang out for a few hours.

I’m also feeling off balance these days.  I think I’m moving into the next phase of my life.  I bought a condo (my mortgage was approved yesterday), I’m optimistic about my career, big things are happening in my city, and for the first time in a long time, I’m not searching as hard for the unanswered questions in life.  If I meet the right girl, one who stops time and takes my breath away, I might allow myself to take that plunge once more.

Actually, locating her whereabouts has been more than an occasional thought in my mind.  Hence the imbalance.  Life works better for me when I flow, but ‘flowing’ for the purpose of finding that girl isn’t really flowing.  It’s exactly the opposite in fact.  I guess the trick to finding that balance remains an unanswered question.

In the meantime, I’m off to mom’s.

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