I can’t wait for the next time someone tries to stab me, cuz then I’ll know how to handle myself.  I used to think Tai Chi was all about chilling out, but actually, it’s about self defense…. or something.  I’m really enjoying my Tai Chi class, and I can see a subtle difference in the mirror when I move.  Things just seem to make sense, movement wise.  I suspect my other classes are having an influence on me too.

I remain anything but the picture of grace riding in upon a feather blown gently by the lips of the wind.  Rather, it’s something closer to falling off the back of a 1976 chevy half ton on the side of a highway and rolling ass over tea kettle to the ditch, and landing on my feet.  I’ll take that for now.

I also added one more time zone worth of importance to my life.  I was in the office today talking to CBC in Toronto about an email I received from a CTF analyst in Halifax.  Business things for Crimes of the Art are progressing.  I even made a point of getting warm and fuzzy with previously mentioned CTF analyst.  It’s always nice to have a human connection with individuals who work inside large bureaucratic organizations.  Information tends to move better in both directions when that happens.  It also fits neatly into the category of ‘not being an asshole’.

I have more business stuff to do tomorrow.  After that, I’m hoping to dive into an undiluted Crimes of the Art bath of creativity.  I hear it’s good for the joints.

Being the Other Me

I’m that other me today.  I’m the me that I wanted to be two sundays ago, but couldn’t because at the time, I was the me who still had a whole TV series to write.  Back then, I desperately wanted to be the me who would be basking in the good vibrations that comes with six completed episode treatments and a job well done.  Today I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

Moccasin Enterprises is going to be a good series, and I think it may even be one of those small things that could make a difference in someone’s life.  At its core, the series is about the fundamentals of business.  Poured over top is a sticky layer of First Nations humanity.  It’s going to appeal to a lot of people.

Yet bringing myself to write it required a mammoth effort.  All the business stuff was a bit hard for me to think about.  It felt like I was looking backwards, rather than moving forward.  You see, it wasn’t even that long ago that my vision for Dacian was dramatically different than it is now.  In fact, it couldn’t be more different if it tried.

Up to the end of 2008, my goal for Dacian was to build it into a powerful corporate entity that employed dozens of people, netted millions of dollars from international sales, and had a life of its own.  I saw myself as the President and CEO of the company, who put together sophisticated business deals when he wasn’t sitting in a director’s chair somewhere.  Dacian would have a board room and we would have board meetings with VPs and COOs and CFOs and secretaries and really really fancy coffee.  I read a lot of business books and magazines and I concerned myself with things like business plans, mission statements, and vision statements.  I attended a lot of business workshops and I made a lot of expensive decisions that put off the here and now for the long term best interests of the company’s future.

Things started to shift in my mind as 2008 wound down.  It was a very long hard year, and due to our financial situation, I was doing my own books and business affairs stuff, on top of my roles with InJustice.  I was getting more done, faster, cheaper and better than what was the case when I had employees doing those same things (Chantel being the only exception).  Then one January evening I was sitting at my laptop in the Amsterdam Cafe in Bucharest, when I was struck by an epiphany.  “It’s the lifestyle stupid!”

Everything became clear after that.  I am happiest when I’m free to pay for my lifestyle using my creativity.  It’s about writing and making TV shows that interest me.  It’s about learning new things and finding ways to fuse that new knowledge into a more evolved ‘me’.  The idea is to never stop creating new things, never stop gaining knowledge, never stop moving forward.

Jarrett Rusnak, the President and CEO of Dacian Productions Inc ceased to exist as the person I saw in the mirror (though he still exists for legal and logistical reasons).  The ‘me’ I am today uses Dacian the corporate entity, as a means to an end, rather than as something to be seen as a destination.

The new ‘me’ had a difficult 2009 financially, but it was one of the best years for myself as an artist and a human being.  2010 looks to have much promise, and I am anxious to be me in a new Dacian, when times are busy and prosperous.  I’ll still need to have a bunch of people in the picture to make things happen, but it will be less about becoming a destination, and more about being in a journey that constantly moves forward, nimbly, and mindfully.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a cash flow statement to get started on.