Holy Shit!  Holy Shit!  Holy Shit!

This trip has had more ups and downs than something that goes up and down a lot.  In the last 48 hours I’ve seen the inside of more planes, stood in more airport line-ups, and lacked more sleeps that I ever could have imagined.  I’ve had serendipitous free rides and conversations with perfect strangers.  I’ve also been in a constant fog and my head feels like its underwater most of the time.

Then instead of crossing the ocean to Paris, I wound up spending an unexpected night in Montreal because of weather delays.  Soon after, I woke up at 3am with a stabbing pain in my inner ear and a soreness in my throat.  My body wasn’t really cooperating with the whole, ‘keep my spirits up and the journey won’t suck’ plan.  I was becoming sick in addition to being in pain.

I slept til noon, and didn’t leave my room until 1:30pm.  I ate lunch in the hotel and didn’t feel like going anywhere.  Yes I was in Montreal with a few hours to kill, but my body was begging me to take it easy, rest, catch up on some emails, and otherwise relax.  Fine.  So… I did.  I was in Montreal for 22 hours and I didn’t see anything but the inside of my hotel.

Whatever.  Taking care of myself was more important than seeing Montreal again.  Then my airport shuttle was late.  Then the electronic check-in kiosk at the airport was giving me attitude.  My flight was boarding soon and I still had to clear security.  My blood was beginning to boil.

I felt myself beginning to give up… throw in the towel.  Piss on it.  Piss on all of it!  The shitty flights, the headaches, the lack of sleep, the standing in line, the missed flights, the constant fog, the sitting around waiting for this, the waiting for that.  I caught myself fantasizing about beating up someone who was much weaker than me.  So I began to breathe, deeply.  I took great big deep breaths trying desperately to find the handle on my calmness.  I was fighting a losing cause.  I was slipping away into madness, standing in yet one more line waiting, waiting waiting while the time to board my next flight kept right on ticking ticking ticking away.

Then it happened.

“It looks like you’ve been bumped into Business Class sir.”

So now I’m writing this from my seat in Business Class aboard a brand new Boeing 777.  My feet are up and I’m listening to Jazz music while I type.  I just finished a meal that included smoked salmon with dill mustard sauce as an appetizer.  The main course was Grilled AAA Beef Tenderloin with red wine sauce accompanied by Yukon Gold mash, green beans and heirloom carrots.  A selection of cheese that included Providence Soft -ripened, Saint Paulin Semi-firm, and Chevalier Brie with herbs followed with ice cream for desert.  I ate off of ceramic plates with silverware and my abundance of free booze came in glass – real glass.  The stewardess took my jacket and hung it up for me.  My seat has seven different buttons to adjust it into 4 kazillion different positions and it will even go all the way flat to become a bed!  I have three lamps and a 14” flat screen TV all to myself.

This is the best flight ever and it came at a perfect time.

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