It’s been six hours and I’m still not dead, so I guess I’ll be okay. A frozen hamburger patty thawed out on my countertop last night, and I ate it for lunch today. I didn’t mean to leave it out, I just forgot about it. So I ate it.
I felt bad for it. I didn’t want it to feel like how I always used to feel in the school yard when I was the last guy picked on my football team. I didn’t want this patty to grow up with a chip on its shoulder. I wanted it to WANT to be eaten… and it was… and I’m okay with that.