Epic Wordsmithing Greatness

I’ve been neglecting my blogging lately because I’ve been spending a lot of time working on my blog.  As I mentioned in previous posts, I’ve been preparing a little holiday surprise for some of my loyal readers, and this surprise is turning into a gremlin fused cluster frustration.  I’ve actually been experiencing word processor rage and it’s all adding up to several long nights at the office.

I’m also kind of intimidated to write new entries all of a sudden.  After spending so much time looking at a whole year’s worth of jarrettrusnak.com blog articles, I suddenly feel like I have to make every new entry be an epic assemblage of wordsmithing greatness.  Most days, I just don’t sit down with greatness coiled at my fingertips.  Half-assed to good is about average for me and then the words come out, and then the editing sets in, and then the inspiration takes hold, and then I hit the ‘publish’ button.  I’m happy with every single article I’ve published, and I’m especially proud of a handful of them.  That proud handful represents the bar for me, and suddenly whenever I sit down, I’m aspiring to greatness as opposed to simply expressing my thoughts for the day.

Yesterday I sat down and had most of an article written.  It was about watching the news, and commenting on fear in the world.  After reading it a couple of times, I realized that it was pretty good, but it was also written to be an epicly great article.  I deleted it at once.  It wasn’t written out of a desire to have fun expressing myself.  It was written to impress anyone who might have stumbled onto it.

Well… fuck that shit.  Tomorrow’s article is going to be a crapfest… a real dog’s breakfast.  I will vomit out the worst shit I can think of and I won’t edit a single thing.  I will take my writing to new lows, and I will tap the publish button with one hand whilst holding my nose with the other.  And if I sit down the next day to write a new article, and those intimidating aspirations to greatness still linger, I will shit the bed once more, and I will continue to do so until my headspace reorders itself, and allows me the freedom to just write for the sake of writing — for the pure enjoyment of it.

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