Highwaymen to Honour Commissioner’s Heroics

Media Release

For Immediate Release

HIGHWAYMEN TO HONOUR COMMISSIONER’S HEROICS

November 12, 2009 (Yellowhead, SK) The Yellowhead Highwaymen will be honouring the efforts of CFLFFL Commissioner Lord Jeff Fritzsche during halftime in their upcoming CFLFFL home playoff game at sold out American Express Kim Jong Il Butcher Boy Meats Stadium.  Last week the Commissioner vetoed an ownership bid between the Highwaymen and regular season champions, JJ Barnagle.

“The JJ Barnagle franchise made a lucrative offer to purchase a stake in the Yellowhead Highwaymen.  Unfortunately they were doing so using the Commish’s credit card,” said Highwaymen owner/coach, Captain Jarrett Rusnak.  “Lord Fritzsche then organized an undercover sting operation using razor sharp guile and incredible intuition to save the day.  The rest is history.”

Police reports state that JJ Barnagle owner, Richard Kies showed up at the prearranged meeting wearing nothing but a speedo, a smile, and man bag holding Lord Fritzsche’s platinum visa.  He was covered head to toe in vaseline.  “I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary with Rich until he pulled out the credit card,” began Rusnak.  “I phoned the Commissioner right away.  I was really scared because Rich is an intimidating presence when he’s wearing vaseline.”

Lord Fritzsche swooped in and kept Kies occupied with party balloon animals and Las Vegas strippers until the police arrived.  The Highwaymen intend to name a special section of the stadium in his honour.

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