I think I make a subconscious effort to NOT think about Jazzy too much. I think I would slip into depression if I pondered too much about being so far away from my beautiful little girl. And when I do see her (about every two months or so), we seem to pick up right where we left off. There is no distance in the way we relate to each other.
Still, I do pay attention to my patterns. After Jazzy has been away for about a month, she starts to slip into my conversations. I tend to bring her up more. I begin to notice things that remind me of her.
I was having a drink at the Freehouse with Nicole last night and I found myself spending a lot of time talking about Jazzy. A couple nights before that, I was playing the Urban Future teaser for friends in the edit suite and I was bragging about Jazzy’s contributions to the finished product. I didn’t talk about Kate’s or Amber’s, or Mac’s or my own contributions, just Jazzy’s.
As my head hit the pillow last night, I went to sleep with thoughts of her swimming through my mind. It seems, I really don’t have a choice BUT to be in Vancouver for a spell, sometime around Thanksgiving.
I just gots ta see my little girl again.