A Bowl Full of Dicks

“Eat a bowl full of dicks,” is an expression I learned from my friend Nicole yesterday.  It’s something you’d say to someone when you’d otherwise tell them to go fuck themselves, or “take a long hard suck on my arse.”

The expression inspired some pondering.  For example, as I visualized a bowl full of dicks, I wondered where the dicks would come from… who would the dick donors be?  Maybe the dicks were surgically removed because they were freakish mutations, like a sixth toe or something with limited functionality.  So maybe the donor had two dicks, and the second one was an iddy biddy dick that didn’t even work.  So they sliced it off and dropped it in a bowl.

But a “bowl full” of dicks… that’s a lot of dick donors.  How long would one have to wait before enough genetic dick mutations came along?  How do you store the dicks in the meantime while you wait for more dicks?  It just seems implausible.

It’s more likely that a single mulidick dick donor came along to provide a sufficient amount of dicks to fill an average sized bowl.  I asked Nicole if she could imagine making out with such a guy.  You know, everything is going well, heavy petting, and she’s going down… opens his fly and BAM!  NIne dicks.

Then what?  Does she put them all in her mouth?  Does she give him head(s)?  And what about the moment of ejaculation?  What a fucking mess.  Literally.  Nine dicks worth of jizz.  You’d need a wet/dry shop vac just to clean it up.

But then maybe not.  Assuming all those dicks were fueled by one average sized set of testicles, maybe it would be the same load, except distributed through nine dick channels.  Maybe then all you’d get is a trickle out of each dick… a dick trickle.  Would an orgasm then be one 9th of it’s ‘normal’ intensity?

Would you feel anything if you had nine dicks?  ONE 9th of an orgasm!  That’s like the pleasure you get from having to pee really bad.  It’s no wonder the guy would have had eight of his dicks surgically removed.  And then of course, the ultimate insult would be to feed those dysfunctional, orgasm diminishing, dick trickling dicks to someone you really didn’t like.

It would be a bowl full of dicks.

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